Genus: Modelismus, Species: Nitpickius

A short play, by Jon Bius

Scale modeler #1: I had some coffee this morning that I really enjoyed. I thought it was very good.
Scale modeler #2: I had some coffee once. It was better than your coffee.
Scale modeler #3: I’ve had some coffee in my pantry for years. It’s better than the coffee either of you have had.
Scale modeler #4: I get my coffee exclusively from Etholumbia. It’s really the only pure coffee.
Scale modeler #3: Do you take that coffee with cream and sugar?
Scale modeler #4: Well, yes, I do….
Scale modeler #3: You’re really not getting the full effect of the coffee flavor then.
Scale modeler #2: Originally people used honey with their coffee. It all went downhill with cream and sugar.
Scale modeler #4: Well, I know a guy who works with a coffee manufacturer, and he said the coffee is designed to be used with cream and sugar.
Scale modeler #3: Yeah, but did they manufacture it with or without caffeine? That makes a huge difference.
Scale modeler #2: Well if all you’re going to do is put grounds in a pot and pour some water over it, sure. But I’m talking about doing it the original way. Over a fire. With egg shells to keep the grounds down.
Scale modeler #4: That’s not even realistic. Were you there? No….
Scale modeler #3: I bet if it were judged that way it would do OK.
Scale modeler #2: It’s not about realism with coffee, it’s about perception of the flavor when sipped.
Scale modeler #4: Perception? No- it’s about a realistic assessment of…. hey, where are you going?
Scale modeler #1: To find another coffee shop.
{silence for a few seconds}
Scale modeler #2: I guess he doesn’t really like coffee.
Scale modeler #4: Yeah, good riddance.
Scale modeler #3: He probably didn’t even drink coffee.
Scale modeler #2: Or eat donuts.
Scale modeler #3: Yeast based or cake?
Scale modeler #2: Well, cake, of course.
Scale modeler #4: Those aren’t even donuts…..
{fade, as the discussion continues}

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